Affects his mental abilities and may suffer from them throughout his life. The impact of marital disputes on the child is more serious than you think!
The family is the child's safe haven and the only one during his or her early development, especially when he or she serves as a sponge that absorbs all the experiences and patterns of the environment around him or her.
One of the most important things that has a profound impact on a child's mental health and ability to mature properly is the relationship between his or her parents and his or her sense of security. Marital disputes therefore have a profound impact on the child, the extent of which may not be realized by many until it is too late.
Many studies suggest that children who experience frequent conflicts between their parents have fewer long-term life chances and can become suicidal in some extreme situations. In particular, unresolved stress between parents has a serious impact on the child's long-term mental health.
Impact of marital disputes on the child's upbringing
In most cases, marital disputes have little or no negative effects on children. But when parents shout at each other or get angry at each other and fight, problems that threaten the child's safety can arise.
Research according to the health website Web MD indicates that since the age of 6 months, the impact of marital disputes on a child can alter his heart rate, or increase his or her body's response to stress hormones during his or her lifetime.
Infants, children and adolescents can show signs of disorder in brain development and sleep disorders, and may also suffer from anxiety, depression, behavioral disorders and other serious problems as a result of living with their parents' marital differences.
The consequences of marital disputes for the child, according to the Very Well Family educational website, include:
- It can cause insecurity. Marital disputes undermine children's sense of security about family stability. Children who experience many disagreements between their parents are concerned about divorce or wonder when the parents' litigation will end. It can be difficult for them to feel comfortable in their normal lives with their family, because the quarrels can be sudden and unexpected.
- The Order may affect the relationship between parents and children. Situations of extreme conflict are also stressful for parents. A weary parent may not spend much time with his or her children and care for them properly. In addition, quality of relationship may be affected, as it may be difficult for parents to show warmth and affection when they are angry and upset with each other.
- A stressful and inadequate environment for the child's development. Hearing frequent or acute arguments and prejudices is stressful for children. This stress can affect their physical and psychological health in contravention of their normal and healthy pace of development.
Deep psychological impact in the long term
In 2012, a study published in the journal Child Development examined the impact of marital disputes on children, from kindergarten to early adolescence at the age of 12 and 13.
After following parents and children for seven years continuously, kindergarten children whose parents had frequently engaged in marital disputes were more likely to develop depression, anxiety and behavioural problems by the time they reached adolescence.
These are not the only issues children are likely to face when their parents fight so much. Here are some things that researchers found when studying the effects that marital disputes can have on a child:
- Reduction in cognitive attainment
The study found that stress associated with living in a recurring home where conflicts between parents may undermine a child's performance and cognitive attainment. The researchers found that when parents fight so much, children have more difficulty regulating their attention and emotions.
Marital disputes have also disrupted children's ability to resolve problems quickly, see patterns, understand new information and pay attention, according to Webmd.
At the same time, the study also found that living in a family with frequent disagreements increases the likelihood of school failure and low grades.
- Failure of a child's ability to build relationships
One of the most significant effects of marital disputes on a child is the child's habitual pattern of violent behaviour, charging and fighting; He therefore acts hostile and violent with his peers.
It is common for children to start resolving their differences with their siblings and friends with the same tactics they have seen their parents use among themselves.
Children may also struggle to maintain healthy relationships when they grow up if they habitually have family disputes, may have difficulty determining who they can truly trust in life and suffer from trust problems with others.
- Behavioural problems
The impact of marital disputes on a child is often linked to a child's tendency to aggression, violence and various behavioural problems. In addition, children are more likely to experience social problems and increased difficulty adjusting to school, both with their student peers and with their teachers.
- Eating disorders and body problems
Many scientific studies have linked the existence of eating disorders, such as anorexia, pathogenic evil or polymia, to patriarchal disputes and frequent family problems.
Children growing up in an unstable family have been shown to suffer the most from stomach problems, headaches and sleep difficulties.
- Smoking and addiction
According to Very Well Family, living in a home with high levels of disagreements increases children's likelihood of early smoking, excessive drinking of alcohol and substance abuse, compared to children growing up in a family of understanding parents.
- Depression and a negative outlook on life
Children who have grown up in frequent homes are likely to have negative views of their family relationships and the value of things in life in general.
One of the consequences of marital disputes is for the child to grow up with a more negative view of himself. A 2012 study found that children exposed to family differences and parental problems are more likely to have low self-esteem and can develop self-image psychiatric disorders during their lifetime.
How do you learn that marital disputes affect your child?
Parenting's pedagogical website explained that there are some signs that would clarify the extent to which the child is affected by the parent's relationship and the degree to which the differences between them affect his or her safety, most notably:
- The child starts crying or tries to attract attention once the parents start fighting.
- When the child becomes very calm when his parents' fight begins.
- When a child's looks or phrases indicate that he or she does not feel safe.
- When the child is shocked or panicked in case the frequency of his parents' voice increases during the fight.
- The child's tendency to fight with his or her peers and his or her incompatibility with other children.
- The child's lack of association with other children and his tendency to be antisocial.
- Abnormal behaviors in the child.
- The child's tendency to blame himself when his parents start arguing or fighting.
- The appearance of signs of depression, sadness and fear on the child.
- Poor academic performance and failure in activities.
- The child's separation from his or her parents and preference for spending time alone.
- The child may complain of headaches, stomach pain or some other health symptoms.
Since fighting is normal between couples, how can a child be protected from its consequences?
Sometimes, differences between couples get out of control. The fight does not mean that you have irreparably abused your child. But you may want to take some steps to minimize the effects of what he sees or hears.
To reduce the impact of marital disputes on the child, Very Well Family is advised to:
- A high debate to make it clear: Although parents do not have to tell the details of their children's disagreement, a meeting and clarification are advised: "Mama and Papa did not have the same opinion on a particular matter last night, and it was wrong to fight this way."
- Child reassurance: The father and mother should remind their child that the fight is merely an accidental case and not an indicator of greater problems. Reassure the child that you love each other and that you will not be separated.
- Strong foundations: Confirm to your children that you are a strong family. Explain to the child that disputes sometimes occur and people can lose their temper, which is a mistake that should not be done. That did not mean that there was no love between you as a couple or a family.
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